Circle of Love technique for internal parts from Bonnie Weiss

There are times in Internal Family Systems work with a client, when there is not enough Self energy to support a part, usually an Exile but sometimes a Protector.

The part has begun to develop a relationship with the Self, is ready to take in love and support, yet the Self is not grounded or vibrant enough to be felt by the exile or protector.

So I have the part stand in the center of a circle of love. We first call in all those people currently in the person’s life who care for them and reflect their positive qualities in some way. Pets are always welcome.

Then we add people from the past, a teacher a coach, a neighbor, an elementary school friend, who have supported, mirrored or stood up for the individual.

Then we invite in inspirational figures from history, literature, movies, or TV to fill out the circle. My circle always includes Katherine Hepburn, Gloria Steinem, Ghandi, Golda Meir, Hamid Almas.

Instructions for the internal; part needing support to stand in the center of the circle and gradually rotate to make eye contact with each figure. The part is to take in the loving support and reflection from each.

I remind them as they turn they are not only meeting loving eyes, but at every moment, someone behind them, who cares about them, has their back. This feeling is especially poignant.

Most parts who have lacked a sense of safety and belonging have not felt there were people in the world who had their back.

From Jay Early and Bonnie Weiss (IFS)

Jay’s IFS website: https://personal-growth-programs.com/