Thank God We Got Rid of the Men #8
Because reactivity is inevitable: Blueprint of WE
Thank God We Got Rid of the Men; A Story of Restoration for Planet Earth, #8 of a series of pieces from a text in progress. Publisher inquiries welcome.
It took Donald Duck and Brett Kavanaugh to break the magician’s spell and alert women, better interpersonal behavior was not — and never would be — forthcoming from male leaders. The ball was in the woman’s court. What was their play?
AS we mentioned, Women In Congress started as a support group, more experienced elected women mentoring newly elected women. This grew into an official Caucus. Leadership positions in many caucuses were now held by women.
Women understood on the abstract, “Our inter-connected world now demands Collaborative Awareness.” What could elected women do PRACTICALLY to repair-restore norms of healthy interpersonal decency and competency?
They agreed they could start with interactions with their own paid staff and in their staff meetings. Work up to Committee meetings.
Enter BluePrint of WE
Several of the women were familiar with Blueprint of WE. It began in the early 2000s, a collaboration exercise for making better agreements with anyone you are in partnership with.
Women who knew of this brought it forward for the rest via a slim BofWE workbook. Each workbook had templates to fill out, a half-hour writing exercise each member to an agreement, such as staffers in your office, does. Then parties to an agreement, two or more, come together face to face to share and read each other’s writing.
BofWE assumes interpersonal conflict is not an “IF” but a “WHEN. Since conflict is inevitable, why not have a workable plan for when interpersonal conflict arises? It’s a simple, easy cooperative-collaborative exercise promoting peace, listening and cooperation in the workplace.
Where conventional lawyer contract language supports and enforces masculine-patriarchal values, Blueprint of WE aligns with, and supports, feminine values of healthy connecting, cooperating and collaborating. This was unheard of in male-speak and male-think contract documents.
More precisely, each collaborator specifies in writing:
- What draws them to be part of this team effort,
- What triggers them when working with others,
- How they look when upset, facial expressions and body language when they are distressed or stressed,
- Their individual preferences for how they wish to be treated, when they are observed to be under stress.
Each collaborator thereby mindfully designs guidelines for healthy group process within the collaboration.
This also includes — in writing — preferred paths back to peace when stressful situations arise.
In this way clarity and communication are facilitated on feelings and needs levels “beneath the surface.”
“Calming the Safety Brain”
The greatest fear most people have is interpersonal conflict.
William Glasser reminds us, “No one does well in a crisis.” However spelling out the signs of conflict for each team member; and, signposts for how each collaborator prefers to be treated when stressed, increases comfort in our Safety Brain.
When we feel safe, the voice of our Interpersonal Competency Brain can be heard more clearly.
Anticipating the inevitability of conflict, Blueprint of WE, prepares all parties involved, with what to do, when stress appears, in any party to the agreement.
By staying present, in safety and connection, conflict can be processed a digested more easily. Create and sustain your team’s culture of collaboration.”
The BofWe process goes a long way to “quieting the safety brain;” and, towards cementing trust between co-workers and teammates.
To Learn More:
conversations@CollaborativeAwareness.com
www.CollaborativeAwareness.com
(+1) 847–859–9046
Skype: collaborativeawareness
2021 Greenville Hwy. Flat Rock, NC 28731
/// Budgets began adding lines for training and consultation from the originators of BofWe.
Surprising many in the Senate and House, use of Blueprint of WE created an unprecedented, rich environment for proposing and passing legislation. It gave the Dems a morale boost advantage over the fading Republican dinosaur. It gave Progressive Dems a morale boost and momentum over centrist Dems.
BofWE appealed to just those freshmen Progressive Senators and Congresspersons newly elected, good-faith actors, ready, willing, able and wanting to get something done. BofWE supported them identifying each other. The routine of composing and sharing short written agreements about working together became common, expected among Progressives.
It became easier to recruit co-signers to Progressive bills using the BofWE routine. Who doesn’t want to be respected for how they wished to be treated when conflict arises?
By mid-2021 Blueprint of WE began to spread beyond Progressive Caucus Senators, Representatives and their aides. Blueprint of WE was shared with like-minded non-profits and grassroots orgs. Many women caught the vision of how using Blueprint of WE could and would begin reverse the “horror show” of mostly failed male leadership, 1955–2018.
In the Fall of 2021, Blueprint of WE was picked up by Huff Post, Politico and BuzzFeed. It began to go viral. Women worldwide shared this cooperative-collaborative workplace masterpiece, with as many other women as would listen. Many did.
Slowly over the next three years, Blueprint of WE began to become a norm and expected in the formation and upgrading of existing and new progressive orgs. Anyone wishing to attract and keep Cultural Creatives engaged in their orgs, learned BofWE was a simple, cheap way to get and keep talented Creatives.
The above impulse, to share workable methods of interpersonal competency more widely, inevitably led women leaders towards activity-based and games-based teaching almost exclusively, the only live events which could compete effectively with the distractions of Internet and smartphones.
How marriages changed
Did I mention how marriage is different in 2120?
Taking a cue from Blueprint of WE; and, given longer lifespans, marriage is no longer performed when a couple wants to live together. Rather an official marriage ceremony occurs only when a couple has or adopts its first child. The child is present at this ceremony. If the child in under one year, a Baby Blessing is often performed at this same time.
The results? Children and teens see “marriage” framed more as a contract about raising children than for the happiness expectations of two adults. “Til death do us part” promises are only fulfilled 40% of the time now.
Did I mention marriage contracts in 2120 have an explicit expiration date? This usually when the last child goes off to college. When all children have left the home, parents have the official, legal opportunity to re-think their goals, for the next period of their lives; and, whether this includes their current partner or not.
If the couple decides to split and each go their own way, the house, if any, and all assets are divided fairly, according to formulas on forms downloadable at all libraries. If no mediation is required, you simply get the anullment notarized and make a copy for all relations who may have questions about the dissolution of the marriage.
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These pieces of the longer work are posted online at Medium.com, LinkedIn.com. You can contribute at Patreon.com.
Self-published eBook and paper book expected in late 2019. Publisher inquires welcome.
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TAGS: psychology, counseling, women taking over, team human, story of restoration, spaceship earth, douglas rushkoff, nvc, nonviolent communication, compassionate communication,
